There is a stoic practice of imagining or doing an activity and thinking how it might feel if this were the last time you could do it. This doesn’t have to be a significant or profound task, you might be making a cup of tea or thinking about washing the car. The idea is that if you can add a degree of significance to the mundane then you will experience it, and consequently all the more important undertakings in life, in a deeper and more resonant and appreciative way.
This came to mind yesterday because I have elected to have surgery on my cancerous prostate. The recent MRI I had showed that the cancer is still localised to my prostate gland but it has grown and my PSA levels have not settled in the way I would have liked. There is, therefore, a shrinking window in which to have this treatment. If you add in my relatively young age and good general health then I am deemed a good candidate for it.
I met my consultant who took me through the procedure itself. Then I met the nurse who explained more about the recovery and the effect the whole process might have on my body. I won’t bore you with the details as I am sure you can well imagine what areas of my life are going to be affected. This conversation made me realise that there could well be activities that I undertake in the next 6 weeks or so that I might never be able to do again.
This isn’t just the truth of having major surgery, as we get older our bodies are not going be able to do the things they once did. Although, somewhat ironically, the title is a song by The Rolling Stones and they all seem to be doing exactly what they have done for the last 60 years, well into their dotage.
On the other hand, this might be the last time I have to go to hospital, or it could be the (first and) last operation I have. It’s not just the nice things that peter out with age. I will definitely have had my last biopsy on my prostate. If I am entirely honest with you, on the basis of my experience of the previous one, when they suggested that I would have to have another biopsy if I wanted to continue with active surveillance I figured a full operation couldn’t possibly be any worse. I might be wrong . If I am and it is, I can reassure myself that it is guaranteed to be the last time they perform it on me.
I shall be back, good people, to let you know how I get on in a couple of months. In the meantime, I will mostly be doing pelvic floor exercises and, perhaps occasionally, trying to enjoy what little time my prostate and I have left together.
*** Please note the image featured was generated by Nano Banana AI